By Judd Allen, CDFA® Candidate

Divorce has a way of upending everything at once. Emotions run high, routines fall apart, and for many, financial security feels like it is slipping away. This is a story about someone who chose to pause, plan, and protect their future instead of letting the circumstances control them. The name has been changed, but the challenges and choices are very real.

Meet David

David was 52 when his marriage ended. He lived just outside Detroit, owned a small engineering consulting firm, and had two teenage daughters. His marriage had been strained for several years, but the decision to separate came swiftly after a few final conversations made it clear that things would not improve.

He moved into a rental home five miles from the family house and suddenly found himself juggling legal documents, emotional fallout, and late-night worry about what the future might look like. He had always imagined retiring at 62, traveling occasionally, and helping his daughters pay for college. That vision now felt uncertain.

At first, David tried to go it alone. He read articles online, pulled spreadsheets together, and asked a few divorced friends what they had done. Their advice was well-meaning but inconsistent. One friend told him to hide money. Another said to liquidate his business assets quickly. Another urged him to give up the house and start fresh. None of it sat right.

What David realized, after one particularly stressful night of trying to divide up his retirement accounts on paper, was that he needed a team.

First Step: Building the Right Support System

David’s first call was to a local family law attorney he had been referred to by his CPA. The attorney specialized in collaborative divorce and emphasized that not every divorce needed to become a battle. David appreciated the approach. He was not interested in a fight. He wanted a fair outcome and a sustainable future.

The attorney encouraged him to also find a financial professional who could help model the long-term impact of various settlement scenarios. That is when David found our firm. He had been searching for someone who understood both the technical side of divorce finance and the emotional toll that comes with it. After our first meeting, he said, “I do not need someone to hype me up. I need someone who can help me think clearly.”

We began with a basic question: What needs to be true for you to feel financially safe five years from now?

That question gave him permission to stop thinking only about today’s chaos and start focusing on where he wanted to land.

Creating a New Cash Flow Reality

David’s income was variable, which made planning more complex. Some months brought in strong revenue from long-term clients. Other months required dipping into reserves. With the help of his bookkeeper, we analyzed twelve months of business income and personal expenses. Together, we identified a baseline draw that he could pay himself reliably without putting strain on his business.

We also built a new post-divorce budget that reflected his rent, support obligations, and living expenses. This gave David a clearer view of what he needed to earn just to cover the essentials. It also helped him realize he could downsize his consulting workload slightly without sacrificing stability. That decision gave him more time with his daughters and a much-needed reduction in stress.

Rethinking the Retirement Timeline

The divorce meant his retirement accounts would be split. The original timeline of retiring at 62 no longer felt realistic. Still, David was not ready to give up on the idea of a fulfilling retirement. We looked at his existing 401(k), projected contributions from his business income, and considered a SEP IRA to supplement his savings.

By adjusting expectations slightly, pushing the retirement age to 65, and maximizing tax-deferred contributions during his peak earning years, he was able to get back on track. It was not the same vision as before, but it was still a good one. More importantly, it gave him peace of mind.

Housing with a Purpose

Early in the process, David assumed he should keep the family home. It was a beautiful place with memories, and he thought it might be better for his daughters to have some consistency. After running the numbers, he realized the home came with more financial strain than comfort. The mortgage, taxes, and upkeep would stretch his budget beyond a healthy limit.

Instead of forcing the issue, he agreed to let his former spouse keep the home. He found a smaller house closer to his daughters’ school and built something new. It did not have the same square footage, but it had warmth, security, and space for the girls to stay with him regularly. It also came with a monthly payment he could manage with confidence.

Managing Emotions Through Structure

David admitted early on that the hardest part was not the math. It was the doubt. Some days he felt confident. Other days he questioned every decision. That emotional whiplash is common in divorce. The structure we created around his finances gave him something stable to hold onto during the turbulence.

He set aside a weekly check-in with himself to review his bank accounts, update his budget, and make sure he was staying on track. We held quarterly planning meetings to review his investment strategy and make any needed adjustments. Having a routine helped him feel like he was not drifting anymore.

Saying No Without Guilt

Parenting post-divorce brought new challenges. David wanted to say yes to everything his daughters asked for. That guilt often led to impulse purchases and budget strain. We worked together to establish a simple framework. Each month, he set aside a fixed amount for discretionary spending. Some of that went to fun experiences with his daughters. Some went toward saving for a trip they could take together the following summer.

When he needed to say no, he had a way to explain it that felt respectful and clear. “We are sticking to our plan,” he would say. “That way we can do something special later.” Over time, his daughters began to understand the value of boundaries. That kind of modeling created more than just financial discipline. It created trust.

Rebuilding Confidence and Community

Once the legal process wrapped up and his finances stabilized, David began focusing on something more personal. He wanted to feel connected again. Divorce had left him isolated, especially from married friends who did not quite know how to support him.

He joined a men’s group in his community that focused on personal growth and rebuilding after major life transitions. He began volunteering twice a month at a local mentorship program for teenagers interested in engineering careers. These connections gave him a new sense of purpose. His confidence began to return, not because he had all the answers, but because he was making decisions with clarity.

What David Learned

By the time we met for our one-year review, David had rebuilt his emergency savings, made steady contributions to retirement, and paid off the last of his credit card debt. More importantly, he was sleeping better. He said, “The money stuff mattered, of course. But what I really needed was someone to help me slow down and think. That changed everything.”

David’s story is one of thousands. Not every divorce needs to leave your finances in ruins. With the right support, structure, and patience, it is possible to protect your future, take care of your family, and rebuild with purpose.

Lessons That Last

Divorce is never easy. It challenges identity, relationships, and financial confidence all at once. Still, it does not have to leave you stuck. Whether you are deep in the legal process or just beginning to think about next steps, you deserve support that helps you stay steady.

At J. Allen Financial, we work with professionals and business owners navigating the financial side of divorce. We help organize the numbers, prioritize your goals, and map a path forward that honors both your present and your future. Along the way, we stay human. We know what this feels like. We have been there. When you are ready, we are here.